Neuro-Linguistic Programming
The teacher of 20 second NLP walks in and says:
"To be successful in life, you need to know three things:
- Firstly, you need to know what you want; have a clear idea of your outcome in any situation.
- Secondly, be alert and keep your sense open so that you know what you are getting.
- Thirdly, have the flexibility to keep changing what you do until you get what you want."
He would then write on the board:
- Outcome
- Acuity
- Flexibility
End of seminar.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. If what you are doing is not working, do something else.
The meaning of communication is the response you get.
To communicate successfully, build rapport. You build rapport by matching their
- Body language
- Voice tonality
- Eye contact
- Breathing (powerful technique)
- Posture
- Distribution of weight
- Voice speed
- Voice volume
- Voice rhythm
You don't mimic though.
A fidgety behavior can be cross-matched with some swaying.
You disengage from the dance by breaking the matching.
Eliminate the word "but" from your vocabulary, replace it with "and". "But" is a destructive word that can get you in trouble.
Elicitation - guiding someone into a particular state. The simplest way to elicit an emotional state is to ask the person to remember a past time when he was expecting that emotion. The more expressive you are, the more expressiveness you will elicit.
If your voice tone, words, facial expression and body posture match the response you are asking for, you are more likely to get it.
Calibration - recognizing when people are in different states.
Exercise - ask someone to think of a friend they like very much, then someone they dislike. Repeat. Note the differences.
Anchor - a stimulus that links to and triggers a psychological state.
Creating Anchors
1) Choose the emotional state you want. Then you associate it with a stimulus or anchor so that you can bring it to mind whenever you want it.
Resource Anchoring (page 56)
1) Kinesthetic anchor - e.g. touch thumb and finder together, or make a fist in a particular way. Make it something discreet.
2) Auditory anchor - word or phrase that you say to yourself internally. The voice tone means as much as the word itself, e.g. "Confidence!"
3) Visual anchor - distinctive and helps evoke the feeling. A symbol of some sort.